Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tri-tri-tri a little harder
NEW ORLEANS, April 27th, 2010 - A three wheeled wonder from New Orleans has finally fulfilled one of humanity's greatest dreams, while also restoring hope to millions of Americans. The conceptual art world had claimed it was impossible, the bike community said it couldn't be done - but the mysteriously named 'Miss Karina', as she's known to her on-line friends proved everyone wrong when she finally discovered that it was in fact possible to turn a tricycle into a unicorn. With golden wheels, mane, horn and hooves, the unicorn trike was everything that pundits and fans alike were waiting for.
"That wrinkly, piece-of-s**t shark at the Met can lick my b**ls," said one on-line shopper. "This is what art fans have been waiting for. Did a Hirst installation ever transform my meaningless 9-5 existence into a sublime, life-altering, transcendent experience like this does? I don't f**kin' think so."
While Miss Karina was unavailable for comment, one of her assistants was on hand to inform us that "There are two pieces that can both be removed from the tricycle. The front piece can be removed and hung on a wall like a taxadermy deer or the like. The wings are on hinges so they can be out to the sides all the way or closer to the rider. There is a pretty large trunk that can smoothly be opened and closed. The bike runs surprisingly smooth. The back legs spin as you ride giving the effect that the unicorn is running. The eyes have lights in them that are LED tap lights. The structure is made from rebarb, chicken wire, papier mache, and spray (expandable) foam. This piece is designed to last forever if properly cared for."