Thursday, September 6, 2012

#knogblinder4v posthumous review

So another not-so-awesome thing about Carebear being taken was I had all my rad new Knog Blinder 4V lights on them. In a nutshell, they are excellent at being very bright vertically on your seat post, and lend themselves perfectly to the Nightshades #1 rule: Don't die.

I kept meaning to write a review, but with everyone from the Bike Snob to your mom doing a review I thought no one would notice my opinions. People did notice them on the road and at parties "AH MY EYES- what is that cool thing?" was often the remark I got. I'm telling you, if you want to talk to strangers daily- be a Knog product tester.

Anyway, in true Nightshade fashion I began to compile all the uses for them that weren't just being seen by motorists on the road.

#1- Bike Rave enabler. I powered a mini break dancing session with my blinders at the 2012 Vancouver Bike Rave.

#2- Finding crap in your bag. Sometimes finding things in your bag at night is just hard. Just drop your light in and problem solved!


#3- Bling bling! When you take it off your bike to go inside and boogie, you can wear your super duper bling ring. In some smoke the light beams look like Wolverine's talon thingies. I wish I had gotten a picture of that.

#4- Hypnotize cute bike boys with your awesome blinky bike swag.

#5- Is it too dark to climb that 50 foot tree? Not with your Blinder mouth light!


#6- Who needs a real fire when you can make a bike light fire? It's cop friendly version of the real thing.

Also, you can:
- Unlock your door when your automatic porch light just doesn't feel like working!
- Find thing in the dark on the beach/park/dance floor!
- Fight back against that stupid little barking dog.
- Feel superior to all the puny bike lights around you.

That is all. I also have their cool Bouncer lock and it worked especially well when I actually used it. Actually, it was kinda funny as I'd come out from whatever building I was in to see someone staring at my bike. I would get rampantly paranoid they were thinking about cutting the lock and say something aggressive/mean/crazy, but they were always just admiring the funky design and the conversations with strangers never ended.

Now I'm going to go back in a corner and hate myself for at least another two weeks. Is it true there is life after love? Cher isn't reassuring me. Oh Carebear, I'll wait for you forever...

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